Of Onions and Nuclear Reactions

For long, the world has been in awe of the American intelligence agencies. They seem to be keeping track of the whole world, what moves, what comes in and goes out of each country, especially the Islamic countries. CIA & FBI are agencies which have been splashed across the globe as the most equipped intelligence units in the world where, the more prominent of the heroes in Hollywood have played officers of these agencies at some point of time or the other.

Bollywood has tried to ape these agencies in their own style, when it comes to movies. Technically these agencies were better than most of the similar agencies of other countries. I have said most of the similar agencies because; there are highly sophisticated agencies in countries like Israel, like the Mossad, which is on a higher plane. They are too smart of the FBI or CIA any day.

Now coming back to CIA and FBI, well all I can say is that they are hyped. If they were not, then a 9/11 would not have happened, where the terrorists took a plane out of their own airports and created havoc in NY. Nowhere am I saying that our RAW is smarter or something. Well all I can say is when you have such a huge country with technology that has penetrated to levels of 10% level, it is difficult to monitor. On top of that we have our own ethnic problems in plenty, in each and every corner of the country.

But, our intelligence agencies have been able to fool some of the highly sophisticated equipments of our own CIA. This is recent news to me. Yes maybe you guys already know the secret behind the Pokhran blasts. I was discussing with a colleague of mine on how we outsmarted the Americans, who had satellites monitoring our country on whether we are doing any nuclear tests or not. Well we heard that onions were used in plenty during this operation and it was one of the reasons for which the onion price escalated in India.

A quick google with key words “Onion Pokhran”, gave us the answer that we were looking for. Well it seems onion has this property of absorbing radioactive emissions. So when our smart agencies were transferring nuclear material to Pokhran, they were covered in truckloads of onions. So all the Americans could see was onion being transported to this site in the middle of the desert. I am sure they must have gone crazy thinking of why we were doing it.

Well it seems 80% of the entire onion produced in India at that point of time, was used for this purpose. That’s a huge logistic issue which was handled quite well by our agencies. And one of the persons behind the entire show was our very own president Dr. P J Abdul Kalam.

And to continue on the way our intelligence agencies work, have you ever figured out how people are recruited to the RAW. Well no one knows how and that’s a mystery that I would like to decipher. One of my friend’s dad was supposedly (because we are not sure yet) in RAW and one of my friend tried to find out from that person’s dad on the recruitment and all he had to say was, whoever wants to get in will find out and find a way in. Hmm a la MIB…see there I go again behind the American way of life…sudhar ja